Read Receipts Ruin Romance
The dreaded blue ticks… The enigmatic ‘read’… The following ‘last seen’…
Heart drops. Disappointment dawns. Message received.
We’ve all been there. Awaiting that all-important response from a loved-one, a crush or a romantic interest. And too often, all we get is the dreaded ‘read’ or even worse - the double blue ticks.
Are read receipts ruining romance? Should we ditch the tech and turn back the clock on dating? Does the age of romance require resuscitation?
So, recently when I was left on ‘read’ (not for first time), it forced me to question the impact of technology upon modern day relationships. As a student of English Literature, lover of the traditional romance novel and worshipper of Jane Austen, I think the negatives of technology seem to outweigh the positives. 2004 saw the rise of ‘ghosting’ and yes, it is as ominous as it sounds. Instead of responding to the message, the recipient of the message ignores it and decides to cease all contact with that particular person.
No reply. No reason. Just no contact. Imagine Elizabeth Bennet constantly checking her iPhone to see if Darcy has replied to her most recent message and all she sees is…
READ at 12:03.
Is it that Darcy is too proud to reply? Or is Lizzie being prejudice against Darcy’s ineptitude on his mobile?
Literary satire aside: why can’t people just be transparent with each other? If you really don’t see any future with your pursuer, for the love of God, tell them.
‘I just don’t like you like that!’ ‘You’re wasting your time.’ ‘I find you intensely annoying!’ ‘I’m just not that into you.’
Believe me, I can take it! We can all take it; it’s so much better than the lack-of-message-wasteland that greets you every time you look at your phone.
And I know, all too well, that novels and movies don’t actually resemble life. But can a girl dare to dream?
And I saw a glimmer of hope recently living vicariously through a friend. Hope comes in all forms.
Recently, my friend hit the boyfriend jackpot. After a shaky start, characterised by avoidant behaviour and an unwillingness to commit, my friend’s boyfriend came to his senses and played a blinder. He didn’t send an apology text, or a snap, or DM on Instagram. Oh no, Mr Wonderful put pen to paper. He devised the most wonderful poem. Now, at this point, some of you may be reaching for the sick bucket or suggesting that this is saccharin in the extreme, but let’s consider what this act says?
It says: I’ve got time for you. It says: I know my own feelings and I’m not afraid to be vulnerable. It says: I’m ready to commit.
And to be honest, I’d rather be on my own than be breadcrumbed, ghosted or benched. I don’t want to waste time waiting for a reply or making excuses for immature avoidants with the emotional capacity of a teaspoon.
And if you’re with me and willing to make a stand, let’s demand more. Demand a man who can put pen to paper; demand a man who can pick up the phone and speak; demand a man who is emotionally available.
As for ghosters, they can just tick off!
