Room for One?
The Secret Life of the Solo Traveller
I’ve always loved Will Ferrell. His acerbic wit and easy charm produce comedy gold. But his lines spoken as Chaz Michael Michaels, in Blades of Glory, are the ones that resonate the most.
He cites his favourite film as ‘Solo’; his favourite song is ‘The One’ by Metallica and he labels himself as ‘a Lonewolf’. And I can relate. I’m a bit of a loner.
And before you get your tiny violins and start to feel sorry for me, let me tell you that strength does not always come in numbers.
Travelling alone is great. You can eat what you want, go where you want and do whatever you want. No negotiation.
Plus, you have to connect with other people and that’s what makes life interesting. You’re not restricted to your travel companion. You have the ability, and opportunity, to reach other people from different countries and even different continents.
Most recently, I visited a coffee plantation in Nairobi. I met an American couple and a lovely guy who worked for the American Embassy. And that’s what makes travelling alone so exciting… I got to be my own protagonist in my own film for one moment.
Action. Cue Mitch. A handsome D1 baseball player. We shared a taxi, toured Nairobi, chatted about everything, ate together and said goodbye. End scene.
But that’s fine. I’ll probably never see him again, but he’s a footnote in life. Crossing narratives is great. Everybody has a story to be shared.
And I know that people that I have spoken to may gather the impression that I hate my choice of degree. But I really don’t. I’m a natural storyteller and I love hearing about other people’s stories. The old adage is true: there’s a novel in all of us. That’s the appeal of meeting new people; you get to hear everyone’s unique and diverse stories.
On my adventures, as a Lonewolf, I’ve met a multitude of truly fascinating people. To name some, I’ve met someone who was a child actor, in Arizona, and a medal winning figure skater. This person had been on Nickelodeon and suffered the blight of Hollywood. The highs, the lows, the light and the darkness taught me that the sun doesn’t always shine on TV.
And I also got to meet a New York cop, a runner who worked for Google, engineers, professional influencers, professional runners, Eilish McColgan, Olympic steeplechasers, Olympic silver medal winning marathon runners, people from the Netherlands, France, Luxembourg, Switzerland, Uganda. The list goes on…
Through meeting new people, you can negotiate your place in the world. You can be inspired by their achievements, their unique journey and you learn that not everyone has figured it out.
But cynically, I’ve also learned that the emptiest vessels are the loudest. One of my most recent encounters was with a quiet, understated Dutch-Somalian who came and joined me for breakfast at the HATC in Iten. He wasn’t loud, he wasn’t arrogant and he had no discernible competitive edge. He chatted about the New York marathon; I chatted about New York bagels. He also advised me that my naps of 5 hours (in the day) were a little excessive. He was right. He didn’t brag about PBs or accolades or present himself as an expert. He ate his breakfast and we conversed like old friends.
Then, as he left the table, Willy (a Kenyan who knows his onions) quietly came over and said to me, ‘You do know that was Abdi Nageeye?’
‘Who?’
‘Abdi Nageeye, who achieved a silver medal in the Tokyo Olympics!’
My breakfast companion had palpable bragging rights, coming second to Kipchoge in the Olympics, and he never even hinted at this legendary achievement. This man can run a marathon in 2:04 and a half marathon in 1:00. He runs a 10k in 28:08. Plus, the year that he ran the Tokyo Olympic marathon, 30% of the runners dropped out because the conditions were so difficult.
People are like books, each with a different story, each with a different genre and style. And travelling solo has enabled me to encounter diverse people with compelling stories.
But for those of you still doubting my solo travels, I urge you to take the plunge. It takes real strength to eat alone in a restaurant, to fly alone, to travel alone and to have time alone. But it’s in those quiet moments that you learn the most about yourself.
And most of the time, human beings are lovely, considerate and kind.
The worst individuals, sadly, that I’ve encountered have been British. A brickie from the South is one of the most intolerable human beings I’ve ever encountered. It’s not the wonderful people of Congo, or the hospitable Kenyans, or the overzealous Americans, it was a sad individual who referred to me as a 'white dish’ and messaged other hateful, misogynistic comments. But, having attended a school that instilled Feminist ideals and strength of character, I viewed his comments as signs of insecurity and limited development. However, the worst part is that his misogyny was endorsed by a woman, from Thirsk, who had feigned friendship. Surely, women should support other women and challenge intolerant behaviour? Where is the solidarity? Why laugh at suggestions of sexual assault? Why endorse a man who attempted to rob me of agency and take control over my body?
Thankfully, however, this is the only occasion where I’ve felt uncomfortable. On the whole, however, experiences have been positive, uplifting, fulfilling, liberating…. Need, I say more? And in travelling to other continents, you’ll probably be escaping Manospheric men!
So, pack your bags, travel light, the world is waiting to be discovered. And you only need to book a ticket for one.
However, if anyone is looking for a travel buddy, give me a call, my bags are packed ready for my next adventure…
